Pastoral Outreach to Christian Marriage

Formation, Preparation, Celebration, and Continuing Education
Appendix A: Individual Diriment Impediments
Appendix B: Pastoral Aid to Enhance Dialogue with an Engaged Couple
Appendix C: Recommended Outline for Marriage Ministry Contacts
Appendix D: Marriage Preparation Programs
Appendix E: FOCCUS Premarital Inventory
Appendix F: Natural Family Planning (NFP)
Appendix G: Marriage and Family Resources
Appendix H: Anniversary Blessing of a Married Couple
Appendix I: Prayer of the Engaged
Appendix J: Prayers of the Faithful
Appendix K: Marriage Ministry Certification Program
Appendix L: Gaudium et Spes: Fostering the Nobility of Marriage and the Family (Excerpts)
Appendix M: Glossary of Terms
Appendix N: References
Appendix O: Statistical Data on Marriage
Appendix P: Helpful Quotes and Insights
Appendix Q: WMD Sample Prayer Services & Liturgies

Home In the Spirit of Cana Table of Contents Acknowledgements Preface Introduction Formation Preparation Celebration Continuing Education Conclusion Appendices Other Resources

Appendix B: Pastoral Aid to Enhance Dialogue with an Engaged Couple

A Reflection for the Engaged

It is not unusual for young adults to critically evaluate the significance of the religious faith in which they were raised and to question its meaning. It is a normal part of maturing in one’s faith life. This is a process that is not completed in an instant but unfolds over time. It is understandable that you may not have completed this process at this point in your life. However, because you have asked to be married in the Catholic faith, it is important that you consider what role a strong active faith life will play in your life in the years to come. 

The early years of marriage are unique and crucial because during these years a couple develops patterns and habits that will continue throughout their marriage. Since many human beings are creatures of habit and established patterns, in all probability, what you are doing now is exactly what you will be doing 20 years from now. For this reason it is imperative that the patterns and habits you want to be present in your marriage 20 years from now are fostered in these early years of marriage. If you want to have a strong faith relationship in your life and in your family, then you must begin to lay the foundation now. This is the time to look ahead at what you want your relationship to be in the future, with God and with the Church. 

Your relationship with the Lord is both personal and communal and implies an active relationship with a faith community. A faith community, such as your local parish, is important to you for many reasons.

·         You will find it easier to live the values that are important to you when you worship with people who share the same values.

·         You will discover a partnership with the parish faith community in raising your children. It takes a Christian village, a Christian faith community, to raise a child in faith. But before a parent can understand what the community can offer, they must first be a part of that community.

·         Parents cannot give to their children what they do not possess. A parish faith community can assist parents to understand, clarify and deepen their faith.

With this in mind, we are inviting you to consider during this time of your marriage preparation not only your relationship with each other, but also your relationship with the Lord and the Church. You are being asked to wrestle with the attached reflective questions. These questions have been designed to assist you in seriously considering the role of faith in your own life and your life with each other so that you may discover that religion can be a source of strength in your marriage.
 

Pastoral Aid to Enhance Dialogue

“Thus a man and a woman, who by the marriage covenant of conjugal love ‘are no longer two, but one flesh’ (Mt. 19:6), render mutual help and service to each other through an intimate union of their persons and of their actions. Through this union they experience the meaning of their one and attain to it with growing perfection day by day.” (Vatican II, “The Church Today,” #48)

 In a certain and real sense, your marriage is a time when you reflect on your life goals, as an individual and as a couple. In many ways it is a new beginning. Please reflect on the questions below, share your responses with one another and be prepared to share your discussions with the priest/deacon preparing you for marriage. 

·         What do you understand as the difference between “Marriage as a Sacrament / A Covenant Relationship” and “Marriage as a Legal Relationship”?

·         What is your understanding of the relationship between an active practice of your faith and the stability of marriage and family life?

·         As the quote at the top of the page indicates, in marriage spouses vow to be of “mutual help and service” to one another. How do you see yourself as contributing to the spiritual strength and development of your partner?

·         What are the reasons that you are asking to celebrate your marriage in the Catholic Church?

·         Do you have any concerns about exchanging your marriage vows in the Catholic Church?

·         What are your plans for participation in a faith community after your marriage?

·         How will you approach the baptism of your children? How do you plan to pass on your religious beliefs and values to your children?

·         What can the Church do to assist you to grow in your faith life?

·         What obstacles have kept you from being active in Church life?

·         Do you pray or read the Scriptures together as a couple?

·         What issues do you need to address right now so that the practice of your faith will have the positive influence on your marriage and life that you wish it to have?

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