hristian marriage is a symbol of the covenant that unites God and people (Familiaris Consortio, 12) and, in this sense, each marriage belongs to the whole Church. Pope John Paul II writes, “By virtue of this sacrament, as spouses fulfill their conjugal and family obligations, they are penetrated with the Spirit of Christ, who fills their whole lives with faith, hope and charity” (Familiaris Consortio, 56). The Church’s hope for married couples is that they and the entire community of believers find in marriage a “specific source and original means of sanctification” (Familiaris Consortio, 56) with an assurance of peace, happiness, and permanence.

Vatican II states that:

Christian spouses, in virtue of the Sacrament of Matrimony, signify and share in the mystery of that union and fruitful love which exists between Christ and the Church (cf. Ephesians 5:32). They help each other to attain to holiness in their married life and by the rearing and education of their children. And thus, in their state and way of life they have their own special gift among the people of God (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:7). For their union gives rise to a family where new citizens are born to human society, and in baptism they are made into children of God by the Grace of the Holy Spirit, for the perpetuation of God’s people throughout the centuries. Within the family, which is, so to speak, “the domestic church,” the parents should be first to preach the faith to their children by word and example (Lumen Gentium, §11).

The Catholic Church, on the basis of Scripture and Tradition, teaches “the permanence of the union until death” (Letter to Families, 1994); “the indissoluble character of marriage is the basis of the common good of the family” (ibid). Divorce is unacceptable. It is “a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other until death” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2383).

Having stated this, the Church recognizes that the vast majority of couples who come to the Church for marriage do so committed to grow in love and confident that God will be present with them on their journey. However, the Church realizes that many couples “ask to be married in church for motives which are social rather than genuinely religious” (Familiaris Consortio, 68). In some instances, pastors or parish staffs experience frustration when working with couples who do not practice their faith or who have little appreciation of the sacramentality of marriage. Some couples may be more responsive to parents or other persons who are making demands than to God’s invitation to make the moment sacred. Still others may lack the maturity needed to make the kind of commitment expected in Christian marriage. These guidelines offer assistance to pastors, deacons, pastoral ministers, and parish communities in their efforts to prepare couples for marriage and to continually evangelize them.

Our Lord Jesus promises life in abundance (John 10:10) and invites us to be a people who build the kingdom of God based on values of truth, justice, and peace. We are called to be a holy people who live according to the covenant of love that God offered from the beginning of creation. The love of God for all creation is a beautiful thread woven into the fabric of human history and is reflected in the stories of our lives, which are our response to that gift of love.

In his letter to the Corinthians (1 Corinthians 23:3 ff.), Paul speaks of the many qualities of love we experience in day-to-day living. He also invites and challenges us to strive for the perfection of this gift of love following the mission and ministry of Jesus himself. Throughout the centuries, the Catholic Church has reaffirmed the values of this gift of God and reaffirms the profoundly human and sacred vision of married love in the Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World of the Second Vatican Council:

For, God Himself is the author of matrimony, endowed as it is with various benefits and purposes...Christ the Lord abundantly blessed this many-faceted love, welling up as it does from the fountain of divine love as structured as it is on the model of his union with the Church (Gaudium et Spes #48).

It is out of deep concern for the happiness and fulfillment of couples, as well as a serious concern for the important role which marriage plays in the life of the Church, that these guidelines for marriage ministry are presented. They are intended to promote and protect the sacredness of marriage by helping couples better prepare the foundations for and sustain stable and lasting marriages.

Marriage is a sacred relationship. For the couple, it is profound with richness and dignity. For the community, it is an institution that serves as one of the basic bonds that holds our society together. For the Church, it is a sacramental event that gives a visible sign of God’s presence and grace-filled intervention in our lives.

Christian marriage expresses the new creation, redeemed and restored by Christ. In it a natural union is raised to a supernatural level. Pope John Paul II says:

In Christ God takes up this human need (of communion), confirms it, purifies it and elevates it, leading it to perfection through the Sacrament of Matrimony; the Holy Spirit who is poured out in the sacramental celebration offers Christian couples the gift of a new communion of love that is the living and real image of that unique unity which makes of the Church the indivisible mystical body of the Lord Jesus (Familiaris Consortio, 19).

Aware of this special significance, the Archdiocese of Chicago has prepared these Guidelines for Pastoral Outreach to Christian Marriage. These guidelines are written in light of recent documents of the Church and in accord with the 1983 Code of Canon Law, which usefully synthesizes Catholic teachings as follows, “The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament.” (Canon 1055, 1).

These guidelines are also intended to be a resource for the pastoral marriage minister in the important work of marriage preparation. We call upon all members of the Church to strongly support the best possible programs of marriage preparation and pastoral care in the Archdiocese of Chicago.

Engagement: An Opportunity

Pope John Paul II says, “The very preparation for Christian marriage is itself a journey of faith. It is a special opportunity for the engaged to rediscover and deepen the faith received in Baptism and nourished by their Christian upbringing. In this way they come to recognize and freely accept their vocation to follow Christ and to serve the Kingdom of God in the married state” (Familiaris Consortio, 51). While the proximate preparation period is an opportunity as such, engagement can be both exciting and stressful for couples. The excitement comes with the anticipation of formally committing themselves to each other in an intimate communion that is to last a lifetime. The stresses may come from fears about making a permanent commitment, the reactions of others, and the preparations that are associated with getting married and beginning married life. At times couples may be tempted to use the engagement solely for planning the wedding. In these cases, the couple’s agenda may not be that of the marriage ministers, for whom the formal marriage preparation period is in most instances an opportunity for the Church to evangelize and catechize those who come to celebrate the Sacrament of Matrimony.

Christian marriage is a sacred vocation that “is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator” (Catechism of the Catholic Church #1603). It is a sacrament of the Church. While preparation for the wedding is important and often reflects a couple’s willingness to proclaim and celebrate their love with their families and friends, the time of engagement has much more significance. Engagement is really the first season of marriage. Couples who use courtship to seriously prepare for marriage find their engagement to be a time of opportunity, deepened love, growth, and new understanding. It is an opportunity for adult faith formation. Those entering into Christian marriage appreciate the importance of this time because of the significance of the sacrament they will be sharing.

The Community of the Church: Caring and Responsible

Christian marriage has inherent challenges. It also has many opportunities to witness God’s covenant. Marriage is important for the Church today as it endeavors to extend the life and love of Christ.

The Church encourages and assists those who have decided to be married in the Church to prepare for this vocation. To do this well, the Church promises, through its ministers, time and attention for the engaged. In return, the Church asks of every couple wishing to enter into the Sacrament of Matrimony to see marriage preparation as something important, valuable, and necessary for them.

With family and community, the Church has great hope for married couples, that they may experience marriage’s transcendent dimension. Guided by faith and God’s loving grace, they will grow together through each phase of life and be outward signs of that grace to others.

Parishes in the Archdiocese of Chicago celebrate thousands of marriages each year. Each has the potential for growth and happiness or for separation and pain. The powerful witness of a caring, nurturing community expands the options for married couples to allow them opportunities for more successful courses of action. By hearing the stories of others they find hope for their marital journey. Additionally, because Christian marriage is sacramental, these stories also reflect the story of God’s relationship with his people throughout the ages. The Sacrament of Matrimony causes grace, which perfects the human love of the spouses. When Christians marry, they become a sign of God’s faithful, fruitful, abiding love, not only for themselves but also for the community.

The continued incidence of marital breakdown points to the difficulty of creating a marriage that is viable. Marriage is a partnership of mutual submission. This equality is really about sharing power and exercising responsibility for a purpose larger than ourselves. The needs for adequate, effective marriage preparation and support are so evident that some states are passing laws intended to encourage good preparation for and deeper commitment to marriage.

Divorce and separation are more prevalent among newly married couples than people in their middle and later years of life. Recent Health Statistics indicate that 32% of all divorces in the U.S. occur in the first four years; 63% in the first ten years. The dissolution of marriage is frequently becoming the option of choice for couples who have trouble in their marital relationships. These societal trends indicate that modern marriage is fragile and vulnerable. Therefore, appropriate responses from the Church that stress the importance of Christian marriage are warranted.

The Archdiocese offers this document as a guide to assist the Church in effective preparation and support of marriage. At times, there is confusion and a wide disparity of approaches among ministers and parishes, even within a geographical area. Thus, it is important that Archdiocesan norms provide direction. At the same time, because of the size and diversity of the Archdiocese of Chicago, it is important to apply any norms or standards with pastoral flexibility that give attention to and appreciation for the richness in that diversity.

The task of preparing couples for marriage and supporting them thereafter is a challenging ministry. It calls for bishops, priests, deacons, married couples, and the entire Catholic assembly to work cooperatively. Pope Paul VI, in addressing ministers of marriage, said, “[W]ork ardently and incessantly for the safeguarding and the holiness of marriage, that it always be lived in its entire human and Christian fullness. Consider this mission as one of your most urgent responsibilities at the present time” (Humanae Vitae, 30).

Pope John Paul II says in the introduction of Familiaris Consortio, “Illuminated by the faith that gives her an understanding of all the truth concerning the great value of marriage and the family and their deepest meaning, the Church once again feels the pressing need to proclaim the Gospel, that is the ‘good news,’ to all people without exception, in particular to all those who are called to marriage and are preparing for it, to all married couples and parents in the world.”

A couple’s decision to marry is momentous. Their engagement begins a time of great anticipation and preparation. The Church has a responsibility to journey with them through every phase from their initial preparation for Christian marriage to their lifelong union in Christ. These Guidelines for Pastoral Outreach to Christian Marriage are offered with the hope that the various communities of the Catholic Church in Chicago will serve Christian marriage in a responsible and caring way. Through this comprehensive ministry to marriage, the Church will more effectively assist couples in recognizing the great hope to which they have been called and the great sign that they become for the Christian community.