2.1 Our Catholic Heritage

or our purposes, the formal period of marriage preparation begins at engagement. For the validity of a marriage where one or both parties are Catholic, the marriage has to be contracted in the presence of the Ordinary, the parish pastor, the priest or deacon deputed by either of them. (Code of Canon Law, 1108). When the couple makes the decision to marry in the Church they enter into discernment about their life together as married persons who are open to God’s grace. The Church’s role in assisting the couple during this time is important. Perhaps this is the very first moment of adult faith formation.

This is a time for the engaged couple to assess, explore, and envision. They assess their own family histories and cultures, and all that has shaped them—their love relationships in the family; their faith; their attitudes about, and expectations of, marriage. They each bring to their marriage a predisposition that will shape it.

This is why if the current psychological and cultural situation is taken into consideration, marriage preparation represents an urgent need. In fact preparation is educating for the respect and care for life which, in the sanctuary of families, must become a real and proper culture of human life in all its manifestations and stages...(cf. Evangelium Vitae, 6, 78, 105).

During the preparation period the couple should explore the meaning of covenant, permanence, and indissolubility. They should search for ways to be good married partners to each other. They should become “students of marriage” who seek new learning in the practical ways to “work at the relationship.” An emphasis of effective marriage preparation is to help the couple distinguish the marriage from the wedding.

Though it may be what they know about themselves and each other that has brought them to the threshold of matrimony, there is so much they cannot know about their future together. This acting on faith demands hope and trust—a belief in a promised goodness that lies ahead of them and draws them beyond themselves. This is not for them to do alone. The action of Christ makes marriage beyond limited human imagination. With the assistance of the actual and sacramental grace guaranteed by the sacrament, the engaged couple needs the Catholic Church to help them live their marriage as a sacrament –God present in them.

Therefore, it is also important for the engaged couple to reflect on their relationship with the Catholic community. A purpose of marriage preparation is to help the engaged further develop a relationship with the faith community. Often it will be to renew a relationship with the faith community after a time of alienation, inertia, or indifference. To be in relationship with a community is to be open to and affected by it.