Preparation for a marriage begins at birth. As children grow, they experience interactions with family, friends, and neighbors, all whom may teach them about marriage. Experiences in their school years elaborate further on marriage and relationship building. We must pay attention to all the education our children receive from society, particularly the media. By the time of their engagement, most couples have already formed their perceptions of married life.

Couples approach the Church for marriage preparation with ideas and plans for what they want, which at times are different from the Church’s understanding of marriage. Therefore, this can be a time of great opportunity and teaching as well as a challenge for those preparing engaged couples for the Sacrament of Matrimony. As a couple works with the pastoral minister to plan the wedding, they should also receive their final phase of pre-marriage education.

The Catholic Church offers valuable teaching that emphasizes marriage as a sacrament which builds up the Body of Christ, who himself sanctified the marital relationship. Catholic marriages are an outward sign of God’s love for the community and for the persons themselves. According to the U.S. Bishops’ pastoral statement, Follow the Way of Love, “When a man and woman pledge themselves to each other in the Sacrament of Matrimony, they join in Christ’s promise and become a living sign of his union with the Church” (cf. Ephesians 5:32). This is prophetic. Church teaching on marriage clearly signifies Christian marriage as a holy institution by including it as a sacrament.

 In over 50 years of marriage preparation ministry, the Archdiocese of Chicago has provided valuable education for couples who marry in the Catholic Church. Education is essential to providing present and future engaged couples with the accurate information and the skills necessary to succeed in living their Sacrament of Matrimony. Catechesis is a process that occurs continually throughout life. It builds the necessary awareness and skills to live the whole of life in a Christ-like way, whether it occurs spontaneously at home or systematically in a Catholic school or a religious education program.

Pope John Paul II says, “The sacrament of marriage gives to the educational role the dignity and vocation of being really and truly a ‘ministry’ of the Church at the service of the building up of her members. So great and splendid is the educational ministry of Christian parents that Saint Thomas has no hesitation in comparing it with the ministry of priests: ‘Some only propagate and guard spiritual life by a spiritual ministry: this is the role of the Sacrament of Orders; others do this for both corporal and spiritual life, and this is brought about by the sacrament of marriage, by which a man and a woman join in order to beget offspring and bring them up to worship God’” (Familiaris Consortio, 38).

The Catholic Church locally must provide many opportunities for this message to reach families. It is the pastoral care and sensitivity during the time of engagement and in their marriage preparation that often creates a link for newly married couples to a life of permanent, loving marriage in the Catholic Church.

Marriage is by nature a demanding endeavor. It is intrinsically multicultural by virtue of the two distinct personalities journeying together for a lifetime. Cultural influences from families of origin, ethnicity, language, and various personalities present unique challenges and opportunities for married couples. Every married couple, a new, unique creation, needs and deserves a supportive community that values the richness in such cultural diversity. Those who teach about marriage must communicate the value of cultural pluralism.

 The breakdown in community due to the pervading influences of consumerism, materialism, and individualism may be obstacles to sustaining lifelong marriages. The teaching of the Church and her life of grace counters those influences and promotes stronger community bonds. Therefore, the invitation and the welcoming of those who seek marriage in the Church are also an invitation into a supportive community that will strengthen marriage and family. It is also an invitation to the couple to further develop their personal journey of faith as adults.